for my young loves,
tulip
a tempered heart.
it beats a beat,
but with you it beats two.
a destined path.
let’s take the hike.
let’s take the other lane.
a weakened string.
i pull one end,
you tug the other.
with my heart bleeding out on my sleeve,
you pulled me close to warm my fragile love.
i gave an ounce,
you poured a gallon.
i drowned in my sleep.
i shattered the vase,
you glued it into a sculpture.
i pricked my finger examining it.
i gave you a voice to answer,
you gave me a life i thought i lost.
i wake up everyday
alive and well
and wonderfully
and utterly
in love with the exhaust.
laced love,
crocus
i approached this love with no budget
penniless coined a definition
i grieved the past lost within you
you gave no source of light
the town demeaned ‘laced love’
i forgave in death,
and in death,
gave flowers
to bring to life
a new love.
i wept a many,
lily of the valley
and within each love,
there was separate loneliness.
because i was taught love is nothing
without the risk of pain in extremity.
when the memories pile up,
i find that i cannot breathe.
i lost my dignity on that winning streak.
i’m jealous of the skin that wraps around your body.
how lucky some received while others left handless.
in a stakeout,
you can find me hidden within the greenery of corruption.
regret at its finest.
because when i said ‘i’ll be back,’
what i really meant was the words i never spoke.
about the fact that goodbye came in a plea.
at my worst i never wished for you.
at my best i never wished for you.
only in my deep sleep do i finally have the courage
to look upon your face.
and even then
i am trembling.
but what is too much if everything is still a mystery to me?
blurred at the edges,
i tried to blend into your story.
only i wilted as the flowers around me bloomed.
i needed to be on my own to thrive.
so i fucking left.
in spring i’m in love,
bleeding heart
i kept you like a secret: the last snowfall.
the first signs of my love,
of my spring.
they were mine to keep,
but now they are yours to tell.
i mourned the notice of the emerald grass
and pushed you far behind.
you shouted till collapsion,
my spring,
my love.
i stole a different ending,
they wept,
the thieved.
i entailed a production,
to show me off,
to electrify the golden hove.
you looked me blue in the eyes,
my love,
my spring.
you trapped me happy,
my love,
my spring.
i bleed lovingly,
my love,
my spring.
i bleed my heart out willingly,
my love,
my spring.
a full future,
poppy
though we were
‘loved and were loved and now we lie,’
once said in weeping of poor.
though remembrance of the past is only remembered through art.
there is no art without seen through the eyes of pain.
gifted worth,
though worth without way.
they dug and they saw
throughout the other side
a new future.
sustenance provided
and poppies disparced.
they lived again
in memories
though scant.
i live small so that others may have a bigger way.
Tulips symbolize perfection and deep love. They witness rebirth and charity.
Crocus’ came from the forbidden love by the Gods. Crocus died of sadness and in his death, turned into a flower.
Lily of the Valley is said to have first bloomed when Eve’s tears fell as she left the Garden of Eden.
Bleeding Heart means unrequited love, heartbreak, and sadness. The heart weeps even in bloom.
Poppies are flowers of remembrance and hope. They grew in war lands where no other plants could grow.