As the day of love passes us by, the hearts of those who mourn a two month escapade twinge with envy. A summer romance, a rose-colored love; my sapphic heart can’t help but be corny. For most Lesbians, there’s this thrill of loving and being loved that we can’t help but chase. We find someone that feels safe, someone whom we feel we’ve known our whole lives despite meeting them two weeks ago on Bumble. We get so close to these people. We want to live in their skin, bite their arm and run away to a cottage in the middle of who knows where. Then, we break up. Sometimes there’s a reason, maybe the right person at the wrong time. Sometimes there isn’t. It’s sudden, jarring, and – heartbreaking. It’s the Lesbian break up curse.
That was my reality last summer, where I had what I would consider my first “real” relationship. It feels oddly personal to talk about; especially as I’d consider myself somewhat of a private person. To bear my soul in an article that they might possibly read feels a little… awkward. But what can I say? I’m a Libra rising, I can’t help but spill my own tea. The relationship felt like most sapphic connections, like I had found someone who truly understood me, despite having just met them. I felt so stupid after the break up, wondering what I did wrong and what I could’ve done better instead of accepting that there isn’t always a reason. In my turmoil, like most chronically-online Gen Z, I turned to TikTok for comfort. After doom-scrolling for a couple of days, the app picked up my sad, lonely gay energy; and I entered the #lesbianbreakup side of TikTok.
It wasn’t just me, Lesbians all over TikTok were describing the same feelings. Celesbians, relationship accounts, my For You Page was flooded with the demise of N/WLW (Non-Binary/Women loving Women) couples. Those who seemed to be having the most aesthetically pleasing, sapphic dream life were breaking up so suddenly. The videos were somewhat sardonic, and easily digestible, never featuring both parties, only a wall of lowercase text detailing a sudden break up and a quirky sound that definitely didn’t fit the mood. They were almost comedic and self-depreciating, which was a relief to me since they served as a distraction. I could laugh at myself and others since the content poked fun at their dumb luck, yet made light of their separation.
As more couples split, the internet labeled it a curse. All that remained were poorly aged “relationship goals af” comments on videos that would soon be deleted. I obviously didn’t know these creators or what caused them to call it quits, but I felt secure knowing that it wasn’t just me. As sick as it sounds, there was comfort in my hurt. I felt peace in knowing there were others who were left to pick up the pieces. People who deleted pictures from their timeline, and awkwardly explained their breakup to their friends and family, some who were left without answers.
Despite being an astrology gay, I don’t think the Lesbian curse is real. I don’t believe that the supposed “Sexuality Gods” above are smiting Lesbians, cursing us with the plight of eternal loneliness. I don’t think the stars aligned to split us every time we think we’ve met our soulmates. I think that life simply happens. We move too fast sometimes, but eventually, we move on. There isn’t going to be an answer that will make your hurt go away or justify the jarring news of your separation. The “Lesbian curse” might live on as a comforting joke, or perhaps it’ll sting when it graces your timeline. I, however, like to see it as proof that life goes on. There’s comfort in knowing that there are others living it with you.
The real curse? Going back to the “omg,,, you’re so pretty!” and “wanna thrift and go to the vmfa?” messages.